Ghosts In The Hall

Ever feel like you don't exist? I am stuck in this damn "Industrial Loft".. (cinder block) all day and I wait for something to happen. On the off chance that I go outside to get the mail, people walk through me. Everyone says that there is supposed to be some kind of Southern politeness.. Bullshit.. when people pass they look down and don't say hello. Unfriendly bastards. When I wasn't lonely I didn't notice it as much. I feel like a damn agoraphobic. Then the paranoia sets in.. maybe people aren't talking to me because I look hideous. My heart racing as I take the long walk to the bathroom (5 steps).. I flip on the light expecting to look like Alice Cooper or Keith Richards... but no.. just Kate, chubby, late twenties, unemployed, redhead.. but make-up nicely done if I must say so myself (and I do). So what's the problem? People must sense my need for friendship and take it as psychotic. I guess I'm crazy for wanting a friend to go hang out with. At least I have Tim.. but he's always focused on work. He really doesn't engage in conversation unless I ask him about work. I'm such a selfish bitch, I want it to be about me for once.

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech." - George Bernard Shaw